Th' dialect master.

Och ye scottish fowk...yoo shoods bide wi' gaelic. Ah feel 'at when Ah try tae reid an' kin scottish sassenach, Ah am daein' an accent kinda gangsta (if 'at makes onie sense) an' sometimes jist naethin' makes sense. wa diz it soond sae different? weel th' story ay sassenach has th' answers. efter norman conquest mony refugees moved north (scotland), an' created sort ay a different leid. they hae different words frae sassenach, different accent, an' different phrases. aw thocht it differs frae sassenach, it is variation plus nae a different a body. as languages keep modernizin', scottish sassenach is disappearin' reit alang wi' th' culture. scots want tae spick queen's sassenach an' there's is goin' tae disappear. scot ur loosin' their identity, aw tae reach tae th' top ay th' social pyramid. as Ah said in mah previoos entry, th' society we bide in is aye strugglin' tae be th' best. if talkin' braw sassenach an' sendin' yer kinds tae public skale sae they gab correctly is whit it takes. wa nae? as Ah kept readin' things in scottish sassenach, Ah foond some amusin' characteristics. first: they loch cuttin' it words. insteid ay sayin' th', they say th'. in some ways they omit those silent letters 'at we hae in sassenach. woods juin be jun'? fa ken? weel probably whoohoo.co.uk knows, but Ah dornt feel loch translatin'. och, an' second: they loove usin' apostrophes ('). Ah woods hae ne'er thooght 'at scots hud sic' peculiar accents. they soond loch mah russian mukker daein' an attempt tae gab sassenach...fail. aw thocht ye micht feel aam criticizin' it, Ah actually enjoy hearin' scots gab. they hae a unique voice an' dialect 'at most fowk dornt hae, an' 'at is stoaner tae fin' noo a days.

Translation:

Oh you Scottish people...you should stay with Gaelic. I feel that when I try to read and understand Scottish English, I am doing an accent kinda gangsta (if that makes any sense) and sometimes just nothing makes sense. Why does it sound so different? Well The Story of English has the answers. After Norman conquest many refugees moved north (scotland), and created sort of a different language. They have different words from English, different accent, and different phrases. All though it differs from English, it is variation plus not a different one. As languages keep modernizing, Scottish English is disappearing right along with the culture. Scots want to speak Queen's English and there's is goin' to disappear. Scot are loosing their identity, all to reach to the top of the social pyramid. As I said in my previous entry, the society we live in is always struggling to be the best. If talking fine English and sending your kinds to public school so they talk correctly is what it takes. Why not? 

As I kept reading things in Scottish English, I found some amusing characteristics. First: they like cutting out words. Instead of saying the, they say th'. In some ways they omit those silent letters that we have in English. Would June be Jun'? Who know? Well probably whoohoo.co.uk knows, but i don't feel like translating. Oh, and second: they love using apostrophes ('). I would have never thought that Scots had such peculiar accents. They sound like my Russian friend doing an attempt to talk English...fail. All though you might feel I'm criticizing it, I actually enjoy hearing Scots talk. They have a unique voice and dialect that most people don't have, and that is hard to find now a days.

"The Guid Scots Tongue." The Story of English. Writ. Robert McCrum and Robert MacNeil. Dir. Vivian Ducat, Howard Reid. BBC MCML XXXVI. YouTube.